Memorable quotes from Summer Roberts from the first three seasons of The O.C..

Season 1[edit | edit source]

Pilot[edit | edit source]

Summer: Chino? Ew!

The Outsider[edit | edit source]

Donnie: You fine, you know that?
Summer: Good one! But aren't you, like, the busboy? Ew. Random.

The Escape[edit | edit source]

Summer: This is a nightmare. I'm sweating to death, driving ten miles an hour on, like, a rickshaw, listening to this... music.
Seth: Hey, do not insult Death Cab.
Summer: It's like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining.
Seth: That reminds me of someone else that's doing a lot of complaining.
Summer: Who gets passed by a van full of nuns? Oh, that's right. Cohen Does!
Seth: Well they have God on their side, Summer. I'm not gonna beat Jesus.
Summer: I'm gonna call Holly and see how far ahead of us they are. And she's a girl!

Summer: I am positive that I'm leaving this place with a rash.
Seth: So you're planning on making some extra money tonight?

Summer: You make a move, I rip out your jugular.

Summer: I suffer from rage black-outs.

The Heights[edit | edit source]

Summer: Sailing is so not like the fastest way to get anywhere.

The Perfect Couple[edit | edit source]

Marissa: So how goes it with Chip?
Summer: He's suprised the ocean's big. Go smoke another beer Chip!
Summer: I like Seth Cohen
Seth: You what?
Summer: Nothing. I wasn't talking to you. And if you repeat anything you heard, I'll kill you.

The Homecoming[edit | edit source]

Summer: I... I just can't help it. And I certainly can't explain it. You didn't tell anyone?
Seth: No, of course not.
Summer: 'Cause I'll kill you.
Seth: No, I believe you.

Seth: Could you give me a minute? Because I've got some green beans I need to check on.
Summer: You're passing me up for beans?

Summer: Back so soon? Cause I was, —Ew, uh... I mean, not ew. You're very attractive... for a dad! Distinguished. But, uh— Oh my god.

The Best Chrismakkah Ever[edit | edit source]

Summer: Way to go, Wonder Whore.

The Countdown[edit | edit source]

Summer: You’re not Seth Cohen.

The Links[edit | edit source]

Summer: I was being sarcastic.
Marissa: So was I.
Summer: Which we never were before Cohen showed up and taught us all irony. Jackass.

Summer: What are you? Like 70?

The Rivals[edit | edit source]

Summer: I guess I really will end up bitter and alone.

The Heartbreak[edit | edit source]

Summer: I'm not gonna be your sloppy seconds, assface.

Summer: I'm busy. Studying. Naked.
Seth: And that's supposed to keep me away.
Summer: Cohen? You're at my house!
Seth: And you are dressed. I wonder who's more disappointed.

Marissa: Are you limping?
Summer: Yeah. Cohen knee'd me in the leg.
Marissa: Why?
Summer: Um, the Kama Sutra or something. Love hurts.

Summer: The other night, when we... had sex, you weren't the only virgin in the room.
Seth: There was someone else in the room? Like, like filming us?
Summer: Me. Me, Jackass.

Summer: Cohen, you are so cheesy!
Seth: I'm sweeping you off your feet.
Summer: The sad part is, you kinda are.

The Telenovela[edit | edit source]

Summer: What are you gonna do, Coop? Lift weights? Wear a wife beater?

Summer: I'm just not comfortable about PDA.
Seth: you're kissing guys for 10 dollars a pop at a kissing booth, how more publicly can affection be displayed?

The Goodbye Girl[edit | edit source]

Summer: My Dad says chins are the new nose.
Anna: Picasso thought so, too.
Summer: Really? What hospital does he work at? Kidding! I'm not that dumb. Just shallow..

The L.A.[edit | edit source]

Summer: What if you guys break up? won't that be, like, bad for the show?

The Nana[edit | edit source]

Summer: I'm gonna study this thing so hard I'm even gonna out-Jew you.
Seth: You're reading it backwards.

The Proposal[edit | edit source]

Summer: How can you live like this? Your t-shirts are touching your sweaters.

Summer: You cry during chick flicks, you don't want to go to the hardware store. Next thing you're going to tell me, you walk in on Ryan changing?
Seth: That's crazy! Hey let's go to the hardware store.

Summer: Do you have the stud finder?
Seth: Oh Summer. I think you are the stud finder.
Summer: You see this hammer in my hand?
Seth: Yeah, I'll find the stud finder. What does it look like?
Summer: Don't you know what a level is?
Seth: Yeah, it's something that you advance to in a video game.
Summer: That's funny. The tool doesn't know about tools.

Summer: You're such a dandy, Cohen.

The Shower[edit | edit source]

Summer: They're playing Pac-Man. It's not a Mandy Moore movie.

Summer: Mostly we talk about me.
Seth: You?
Summer: Yeah. It's like our common interest.

The Strip[edit | edit source]

Summer: I have been crying actual tears over that ass and he's kissing randoms!

Summer: Get away from him, whore!
Seth: Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, she's not a whore, okay? She goes to UNLV.
Summer: Ooooh, you know, I'm sorry. Skank!

Summer: Way to go, Whore Boy.

Summer: Did somebody order more skanks?

The Ties That Bind[edit | edit source]

Summer: I'm holding hot coffee, Cohen.

Summer: $6,000 in cash? What are you, fleeing the country or something?
Seth: No, it's for Ryan.
Summer: What, for vintage wife-beaters?

Summer: They sent me to find you. Found you. I figured you'd be stuffing your pockets with cocktail weenies.

Seth: He's the only friend I've ever had.
Summer: No. You have me.

Season 2[edit | edit source]

The Distance[edit | edit source]

Summer: The more time I spend with Zach, the less times I think about ... God, what's his face? Built like a bean pole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on his sailboat, leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried over and over for him until the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
Summer: What do you want from me, Cohen?
Seth: I just want you.
Summer: No you don't. You had me. You had me at Chrismukkah in a freakin' Wonderwoman costume and you chose Anna. You had me three months ago and you left.
Seth: I want to make that up to you.
Summer: It has nothing to do with me. It's about you. And it is always about you: what you need and what you want. You know, it seems you only want me when you can't have me. You like the chase, and that's all. And you know what? You can have it.

: Summer: I had a boyfriend and then he sailed away.

The SnO.C.[edit | edit source]

Summer: You've gotta go Ice-Man on her ass.
Seth: Was that your first X-Men reference?
Summer: Top Gun.

The Family Ties[edit | edit source]

Summer: Your breath smells like Marissa! You are so drunk!

Zach: You're going by yourself?
Summer: Han Solo.

The Power of Love[edit | edit source]

Marissa: Who's Kofi Annan?
Summer: Some guy Zach's mom knows. I think he works for United Airlines.

The Ex-Factor[edit | edit source]

Summer: Am I about to get whacked?
The Accomplice
Summer: I don't wanna hear it. What are you guys? Like Kavalier and Gay?
Seth: That was funny.
Summer: I know.

: Summer: Princess Sparkle, you are not going to believe this.

Summer: Not as long as I have boob approval.

The Second Chance[edit | edit source]

Summer: Alcoholism as a Super Power. Now that is an interesting take.

Summer: Oh, I will compromise your vision. Do not forget my rage-blackouts!

Zach: And Cohen, you gotta nail Summer!
Seth: What?!
Summer: Excuse me?

Summer: Okay, let's be more professional! Less drooling, more drawing. And don't give me any junk in the trunk, either.
Seth: Just the gifts God gave you.

Seth: Okay, the way you're holding the pencil, you're choking it.
Summer: I am not! This pencil can breathe on its own!

Summer: Who have you been nose-grazing with?

The Lonely Hearts Club[edit | edit source]

Summer: Do you think these are too bling for a meeting?

Summer: You know what? My teeth are all plaque-y. I'm gonna go for a last-minute floss.

The Test[edit | edit source]

Summer: Party at Caleb's. That sounds awesome. Maybe a little

: Summer: (on the phone to Zach) I haven't seen Cohen, why? -pauses- Well he always smells sort of weird.

: Summer: I'm only saying this for the people that live with you: take a shower, Cohen. Zach and I didn't have sex.

: Summer: Alex? Seth's Alex? Girl Alex?

: Summer: This isn't turning you on, right?

The Rainy Day Women[edit | edit source]

Seth: Spiderman is really the only protective headgear I own.
Summer: Well, it's too bad you weren't wearing protective headgear when you were dropped on your head as a child.
Seth: Oh, zing!

Summer: Look Cohen are we gonna do this again or are we gonna advance the plot?

Summer: I don't want the Italians to think I have bad style. I'm representing America.
Zach: Well, that's very patriotic of you.

Summer: I can't go. I can't do this.
Zach: Truth be told, I didn't think you'd make it past security.
Summer: I'm really sorry.
Zach: You can't fight fate.

The Mallpisode[edit | edit source]

Seth: This thing with Lindsay is just really kicking Ryan's ass.
Summer: Which is why it's a good thing we're like the Marines.
Seth: How are we like the Marines?
Summer: We leave no man behind. Look, Lindsay may have turned her back on Ryan, but we won't. No. You have got to cheer him up. Semper Fi.
Seth: Oh, Semper Fi. That's so cute.

Seth: And besides, now with Lindsay out of the picture, maybe Ryan and Marissa will get back together.
Summer: Are you crazy? They're like the worst couple ever. And besides Marissa's happy now.
Seth: Okay, and by happy you mean gay.

Summer: Trapped in a department store. Which is like my ultimate fantasy.
Ryan: Okay, and what if we get caught?
Summer: We'll be stealth.

Seth: How is it that Ryan and Marissa are now the functioning couple?
Summer: Oh my god, we can not be more annoying than Ryan and Marissa. we're monsters.

The Blaze of Glory[edit | edit source]

Summer: Break out the hose, Cohen. It's a metaphor.

The Brothers Grim[edit | edit source]

Summer: Oh my god, I'm having a panic spiral.

Summer: I'm about to get bitch-slapped.

The Risky Business[edit | edit source]

Summer: Ew. Foot fetish, much?

The Rager[edit | edit source]

Summer: Cohen learned how to grill this summer. It's a major life achievement.

Summer: Cohen, just shut up. 'Cause even when you're not lying you're lying.

The O.C. Confidential[edit | edit source]

Summer: You know, it's one thing blowing me off, but blowing off Death Cab?

Summer: I mean where other than The Bait Shop, where tickets are always plentiful and the band never too loud to talk over.

Marissa: Don't mind my friend. She's really, really stoned.
Summer: Totally. Like very, very high. Isn't this place, like, so visual?

Jess: How 'bout you?
Summer: Hm? Oh no, strictly ganga. Yeah, what's from the Earth is of the greatest worth.

The Return of the Nana[edit | edit source]

Seth: Hey, Summer! Busy?
Summer: What do you want?
Seth: To talk.
Summer: Yeah. Hold my bag.
Seth: Anything for my Million Dollar Baby.

The Showdown[edit | edit source]

Summer: You know, I really thought things were going to be different this time, but you haven't changed at all. You've found new and even more public ways of disappointing me.

: Summer: Oh, it is ass-kicking time, Coop.

: Reed: Summer, Seth and Zach have talent. They could have careers in comics. But you are the Nico of the group.

Summer: I'm sorry. I don't get references before 1990.

The O.Sea[edit | edit source]

Summer: Did I miss something? 'Cause for like a blip you two seemed actually happy.
Marissa: It's complicated.
Summer: Well, it's you and Ryan. It's supposed to be.

Marissa: So, everyone's saying you're going to be voted prom queen. Isn't that like your fifth grade dream coming true?
Summer: No. My dream involved an actual date. A hot guy in a tux with a carnation pinned in his lapel. Instead I'm drawing straws between Nerd Boy and Ass Clown.

Summer: Tomorrow I will be outside in front of my house in a dress and one of you will pick me up. Got it? Good.

Summer: He better be real sick. Like dead. Cause if he isn't I'm gonna strangle him with his wifebeater.

Zach: I saw your face when I got out of the limo.
Summer: And I saw yours. You want to be there, talking about your comic book with Reed. Look, my prom fantasy, it didn't quite happen. But you've been dreaming about this comic book your whole life. You should go.
Zach: I can't abandon you.
Summer: I did it to you.
Zach: Good point.

The Dearly Beloved[edit | edit source]

Seth: Well Captain's pretty lucky.
Summer: Yeah, well, if he gets fresh with her it's straight to the glue factory.

Seth: I know running away was really hard on her last summer.
Summer: Cohen, no offense, but you're being self-involved again. I think this is bigger than you.

Summer: One girl, two brothers. It's all a little Legends of the Fall.

Season 3[edit | edit source]

The Shape of Things to Come[edit | edit source]

Summer: Captain Oats is a really good listener. Princess Sparkle, she just stands there and looks cute.

Summer: She's Taylor Townsend. She's like the Karl Rove of our school.
Seth: So, you can take Karl Rove— You know who Karl Rove is?
Summer: Yeah, my step-mom sometimes naps in front of CNN. I hear things as I'm dragging her off to bed.

The End of Innocence[edit | edit source]

Summer: You can't leave. I won't let you.
Marissa: I know.
Summer: No, I really mean I won't let you. I'll restrain you if I have to. You may be tall, but I am wiry and I have Ryan on my side.

The Last Waltz[edit | edit source]

Summer: You know I always thought that social chair was a ceremonial position. Like Rose Bowl Queen or President.

Taylor: Summer!
Summer: No. Just so you know, you and your friend the dean may have won this round, but the war is not over.
Taylor: Well unless you have an exit strategy, don't even get out of the boat. I am a human quagmire. Storms off.
Summer: What's a quagmire? Hello! Anyone? Quagmire?

Summer: You know what? You're at a new school and there is a dance. It's like Social Survival 101.

The Perfect Storm[edit | edit source]

Summer: She's got Dean Hess in her back pocket, front, and who knows where else.

Summer: You know, college fairs are kind of like shopping. It's all about brand recognition.

Seth: I got a room at the Mermaid Inn.
Summer: You mean the place where Ryan may or may not have conceived Theresa's baby and the place where Marissa's mom and Luke got it on?
Seth: Newport's very own den of sin.
Summer: Ew. But I like it.

Summer: Hey, skank.
Seth: You were expecting someone taller, blonder with a pageboy haircut?
Summer: Welcome to the terror dome, Townsend. You're busted.
Taylor: For what, exactly?
Summer: Hmm. A little extracurricular activity with Dean Hess? Yeah, I saw you two making out at the dance.
Taylor: So what if we did?
Seth: She'd make a hell of a poker player. I mean, she's pretty good.
Summer: Yeah, unless you and the dean want this little thing-a-majig...
Seth: Heinous crush, yeah.
Summer: to go public...
Seth: Whattup?
Summer: we have a few demands, don't we?
Seth: Yeah.
Summer: Yeah. Starting with the lifting of the ban of Ryan Atwood from Harbor.
Taylor: You can go ahead and tell anyone you want. No one's gonna believe you.
Seth: She like a block of ice!
Summer: Are you willing to bet your squeaky little reputation on that, Taylor Trash? Hm? Cause I have got a huge mouth and an even bigger buddy list. Mmhmm. See this right here? Sidekick. Walkie-talkie of the 21st century. Who should we radio first?
Seth: How about my dad?
Summer: Yeah, ten-four, good buddy. So what's it gonna be? You can either tell Seth's dad the perverted truth and save your sorry ass, or you can roll the dice. Over - and out.

The Swells[edit | edit source]

Summer: Nightmares, huh? You know at first I thought you were just a sweaty sleeper. I didn't want to say anything, but—

Chili: I don't get it. Why don't you like me?
Summer: I'm already dating a dork.

Summer: I'm sorry I overreacted. I meddled. Oh my god, I'm Seth.

Taylor: Sorry! I can't hear you.
Summer: What do you mean you can't hear—? You're responding!

The Anger Management[edit | edit source]

Ryan: Maybe the girls should pick the movie next time.
Seth: Do I have to remind you about the Bring It On phase?
Summer: Now that is a great movie.

Summer: What were you doing talking to her? Did you forget that she didn't let me into the lock-in? I totally bruised my hand pounding on that door.
Seth: She probably didn't know it was you.
Summer: No, she knew it was me. She just didn't wanna let me in.
Ryan: Hm, wonder why.

Summer: Who was that? It sounded like a girl.
Seth: Did it? Yeah. Well, sure. Because I'm listening to the radio. And This American Life is on. And so there's a girl talking.
Summer: Is that that show where those hipster know-it-alls talk about how fascinating ordinary people are? God.

Taylor: Hi, Summer. You look really cute.
Summer: I know. But more importantly, why are you always talking to my boyfriend?

The Game Plan[edit | edit source]

Summer: I can't even pick out my shoes in the morning, let alone plan the rest of my life.

Summer: Could you imagine me on the East coast? I'd be like one of those animals that they rip from their natural habitat and put in a zoo. Their fur would get all mangy and they'd throw dung at people. It would be awful.

Summer: What is it with people showing up with bags?

Seth: What made you change your mind?
Summer: Taylor. She made me see that at Brown you're going to be surrounded by, like, really smart people that are going to make you feel really stupid. So you need someone around to makes you feel smart again.

The Disconnect[edit | edit source]

Seth: You know I read a study once that said that if 1500 third graders took the SATs one would get a perfect score by probability alone.
Summer: Hm. Yeah. I'm not a third grader, Cohen.

Summer: Well maybe I never had a dream. You know, maybe for once in my life I actually want to do something in my life. Like something important. Be the first woman in space or win one of the noble prizes.
Seth: Summer, women have been going to space since the 60s. And it's not noble prizes, it's Nobel prize. Marie Curie won in 1903 for discovering radium.
Summer: I think you've made your point.

Summer: A vicodin love confession is still a love confession.

The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkah[edit | edit source]

Summer: I don't know, Cooper Scooper.
Marissa: That's a really bad nickname.

Summer: Poor guy. Slight of build and on crutches. He's kind of like our very own Tiny Tim.

The Safe Harbor[edit | edit source]

Ryan: Summer's planning Operation Free Marissa.
Summer: Yeah. Secure some key allies, go behind enemy lines.
Seth: Have you've been watching the War Channel again?
Summer: Yes. it's the new news network.

Summer: If we're going to launch a successful campaign to get Marissa back into Harbor we have to find someone who can organize the masses. Someone who they'll follow, you know, into battle.
Seth: You mean General Townsend?
Summer: Affirmative.

Summer: This school is apathetic. They need someone who can inspire. Someone who can intimidate.
Seth: They need Taylor.
Summer: Yeah. You know, maybe it's better to be feared than loved. Cohen, you have my permission to do whatever it takes.
Seth: What is it?
Summer: I'm picturing, like, Indecent Proposal. You're Demi. Naturally. And Taylor is the leather-faced guy who talks to horses.
Seth: You want me to trade sex for signatures?
Summer: Get her on board. I want Marissa back at this school.
Seth: I feel so dirty.

Summer: Surrender, much? I bet Napoleon never talked like this.
Ryan: Well, maybe he should have before he was defeated and exiled.
Seth: Summer, my little Empress, this is our Waterloo. Let's just retreat and minimize collateral damage.
Summer: Well, can't we just wait a couple of minutes before we raise the white flag? She's always late. I mean, maybe she got lost. Or something.

The Sister Act[edit | edit source]

Summer: She is so going back to the pound.

The Pot Stirrer[edit | edit source]

Ryan: Who's been the greatest influence in your intellectual development?
Summer: Um, Miuccia Prada.
Seth: You probably wanna say somebody more like Einstein or...
Summer: So you want me to, like, lie?
Seth: No, I just, I don't think that, uh, Prada is the answer that they're looking for.
Summer: Well, this interview could, like, determine the rest of our lives, right? Well, if I say something that I don't believe in, I could end up with the wrong life. How awful would that be?
Ryan: She has a point.
Summer: I have to go get a mani pedi.
Seth: Summer.
Summer: Cohen, if you wanna memorize answers you think that they wanna hear, that's fine. But I believe in being myself. And by the way, Miuccia Prada combined styles from time periods in ways people never even imagined possible. Her clothes teach you to change your perspective.

Summer: Hey, Cohen. I'm looking to see if Brown has a course in human sexuality. Cause, no offense, you are so taking that.

The Heavy Lifting[edit | edit source]

Summer: Hm. That's pretty smart. You may just have rocked my world. I was hoping you'd come with the half-court shot at the buzzer!
Seth: Is that a sports metaphor? I don't...follow.
Summer: I'm wearing...the thong.
Seth: Yeah, that's...that's my mom's.
Summer: Ew.

The Road Warrior[edit | edit source]

Summer: Oy.
Seth: As in vey?

Summer: My dad has disastrous taste in women. If I don't step in he'll wind up with the first money-grubbing slutbag that gets into the backseat of his Mazerati.

The Journey[edit | edit source]

Summer: My dad was whistling this morning. Julie Cooper makes my dad whistle! I can't tell him he can't have that.

: Summer: Coop, you're tapping into core relationship mythology. It's romantic.

: Julie: Well, I guess I better hury then...And buy me a new bikini.

Summer: Awwwwkwaaaarrrrdddd.

: Summer: We have a problem.

Seth: Oooh, yeah. Today's the day you were gonna tell Marissa about your parents doin' the bone dance. (Summer hits him) How did that go?
Summer: Don't ever say that again. I'm talking about Ryan and Marissa
Seth: No, we've gotten them back together before, you remember? What thanks do we get? They just broke up again.
Summer: Well, they need to make a decision. Either to get back together or to move on. Cause right now they are frozen in that post-break up "holy crap, what did I do?" moment. And the longer it goes on for, the worse it is for everyone. So you need to do something.
Seth: Me?
Summer: Yeah.
Seth: I'm in charge of Ryan's birthday.
Summer: Wait, Ryan's birthday is now? What is he thinking!
Seth: I don't know. He didn't exactly plan it. If you care so much, why can't you handle this?
Summer: Oh, because I have to worry about Julie Cooper giving my dad VD and taking all of his money, so my plate is full.
Seth: Fine...Dr. R and Julie Cooper are doin' the bone dance. (Summer hits him upside the head)

: Summer: Um, hi. Two homeless guys just got into a fight over the crudité and knocked down Scientist Ryan.

: Summer: Hey, Dad. If you really do like her, maybe don't wear the bathing suit you bought last year in Rome. Just a thought.

The Undertow[edit | edit source]

Seth: Is that a no to the Wheelbarrow?
Summer: I'll Wheelbarrow you!

Summer: We should fight, like, everyday.

The Secrets and Lies[edit | edit source]

Summer: Atwood skipping? Now there's a disturbing and... odd visual.

Summer: Volchok is Atwood's krptonite. He'll totally Hulk out.
Seth: You're mixing comic book metaphors. But you think we can keep Marissa quiet?

Seth: Women like abs. I got a six-pack myself. I know.
Summer: Oh, Cohen, those are your ribs.

Summer: You may be Mrs. Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts, but if you make my dad happy...
Neil: She does.
Julie: I do.
Summer: Then I'm happy.

Summer: We have a major problem. Marissa just bailed on our parents' engagement party to skank out with the surf Nazi.
Seth: Your dad and Julie got engaged? You kind of buried the lead there, Summer.
Summer: We've got bigger fish here, Cohen. Marissa is on a slut spiral and we need to stop her.

Summer: The slut is still spiraling. I thought you talked to Ryan.

The Day After Tomorrow[edit | edit source]

Taylor: Have you spoken to Marissa lately?
Summer: Well, if you count "pass the milk" and "don't be so skanky."

Seth: Well, he's eighteen. I just think college should come first.
Summer: Well, not if you're with the one you think you should be with, like forever be with.
Seth: Yeah, well, who really knows that at eighteen?
Summer: I do...Oh, my God...You don't.

Summer: Remember when the boys made us watch that movie about the gay guys on the mountain?
Marissa: Lord Of The Rings.
Summer: Yeah. And remember that Gollum guy? How he got evil and more evil the closer he got to that firey thing? That's kind of how Seth is about Brown.

The Dawn Patrol[edit | edit source]

Taylor: Hey, Sum. If it makes you feel any better, I just saw Seth and he looks as miserable as you do.
Summer: The only thing that would make me feel better would be seeing that ass-less, gut-less wuss skinned, flayed and served as ass-less, gut-less wuss tartar.
Taylor: That's very descriptive, Summer.

Summer: It's good to have you back, babe.

Summer: No way. No scheming, no plan Bs, no wacky hijinks. Cohen broke up with me. Only he has the power to unbreak us up. There's no way I'm gonna go groveling back to him like some pathetic brokenhearted little bitch.

Summer: He doesn't love me.

Summer: All right, look, T to the T, I know you're all up with life, down with God, you have a very positive, optimistic view on the world, but I ain't havin' it.

The College Try[edit | edit source]

Summer: What am I thinking? Kids at Brown don't wear sparkly scarves. Maybe on the way to the airport I'll stop and get some angry-looking piercing.

Summer: 48 hours ago, Coop, you were Newport's Courtney Love. Baby steps.

Brown Guy: The fact is, the US has been performing their own jihads for decades. Just instead of Allah, the killing is done in the name of oil.
Brown Girl: Totally.
Summer: You guys, what is a jihad?
Brown Guy: Exactly.
Brown Girl: Way to reframe the question, Summer.
Summer: Hm.

Seth: Summer, you can't just ignore me forever.
Summer: Oh yes I can. Don't you remember middle school? I was really good at ignoring you. Now I'm just getting back in shape.

The Party Favor[edit | edit source]

Summer: I haven't spoken to you in four days. You think that pancakes are going to make me forget about you and Anna behind my back.

Summer: Not only will I not go to prom with you, but if you and I were stranded on a desert island, I would take the nourishment that your meager frame has to offer and then I would feed your bones to the sharks.

Seth: I knew you weren't going to go if I didn't go, and I didn't want you to do that. I didn't want you to miss the opportunity so I broke up with you.
Summer: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
Seth: Yeah, well, then I realized I couldn't be without you so I flew there to try and talk my way in.
Summer: Okay, now that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. (Hopeful) Did it work?

The Man of The Year[edit | edit source]

Marissa: Hey, Sum. How are you?
Summer: I wish I could pluck out my eyeballs with a fork and rinse them in a tall glass of ice water.
Marissa: Yeah, that's a hangover.

Summer: Oh, my god. Nauseous tsunami!

Summer: (Stops kissing) Where was your dad going this morning?
Seth: ...You're thinking about my dad?
Summer: He had his briefcase with him. Does he usually keep important papers in there?
Seth: Ugh, you're turning me on.
Summer: I'm sorry. Cohen, there's something I need to tell you.
Seth: That you're using me to get to my father?
Summer: Serious!
Seth: So is this. We just got back together. The window for a make up hook up is rapidly closing, unless you wanna break up again.
Summer: No, definitely not.
Seth: Okay, so what'd you have to tell me?
Summer: ...I wanna be on top this time. (Pushes him down)
Seth: But you're always on top- (Summer kisses him)

The Graduates[edit | edit source]

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