Memorable quotes from Julie Cooper from the first three seasons of The O.C..

Season 1Edit


Julie Cooper: Oh honey, I thought you were going to wear your hair down. Pulled back like that, it's a little harsh on your angles.

The GambleEdit

Julie: He basically called me white trash! He said I was from Riverside!
Jimmy Cooper: But you are from Riverside.
Julie: It was his tone!

The Best Chrismukkah EverEdit

Jimmy: Marissa and I were just trying to work out an appropriate punishment.
Julie: Oh really? Well way to rule with an iron fist, Stalin.

The TruthEdit

Julie: Hey, you guys wanna join us? We're celebrating my new position.
Sandy: Ohhh, not gonna touch that one.

Julie: So who'd you punch this time? Dr. Kim?

The Goodbye GirlEdit

Julie: Luke is just here to defrag my harddrive.

The ProposalEdit

Julie: I had to block you from my buddy list. You were incessant.
Luke: You blocked me? I thought you were offline.

The ShowerEdit

Julie: And a wedding planner that has the audacity to question my music taste. Bob Seger is not "so over."

Julie: Oh my god. Did she just say "monster trucks"?
Kirsten: You were into monster trucks?
Julie: I better get over there or there won't even be a wedding.

The StripEdit

Julie: Just one little stripper. Who never hurt anyone. Just trying to make his way in the world... naked.

Julie: It's Las Vegas. You get strippers as a side with your entrée.

Season 2Edit

The DistanceEdit

Caleb: Do you hear a clicking on the phone? Every time I pick up the phone I hear a clicking.
Julie: Okay, Nixon. Paranoid, much? What's going on Cal? You're either hopped up on blow or something's seriously wrong.

Jimmy: So what's going on in your life?
Julie: Aside from our daughter being the spawn of Chucky and Keith Moon?

Julie: You two are still—?
Jimmy: Yeah, we're doing great. She's fantastic, sweet, limber. How about you and Caleb?
Julie: Not so limber.

The SnO.C.Edit

Julie: Jimmy, look.
Jimmy: Wow, she looks beautiful.
Julie: Yes, but more importantly she's with Ryan. Who right now looks like Prince Charming.

Julie: Well I was easy to love back then. I was beautiful and much nicer.
Jimmy: C'mon, Jules. You're still beautiful. And you were never nice.

The Family TiesEdit

Julie: What if it wasn't my life? What if I could just walk away from it?
Jimmy: Well that depends on what you're walking away to.

Julie: Do you see what your leaving me with? Do you see how screwed up she is?
Marissa: Of course I'm screwed up. I'm the daughter of a thief and a slut.

The Lonely Hearts ClubEdit

Julie: What if I took away your Blackberry. And your cellphone?

Julie: Are you going to throw your bedroom furniture in the pool now?

The TestEdit

Julie: And I told you, you have nothing to worry about. I will take care of that. I saw that, Kirsten.

Julie: You should get another glass of champagne. 'Cause this is one surprise you won't find posted on the internet.

The Rainy Day WomenEdit

Julie: That's very punk of you. You know, I used to like the punk in my day.
Marissa: Mom!
Julie: Okay, Marissa. It still is my day. I was just being modest.

Kirsten: Well, my husband is currently transporting his fugitive former flame.
Julie: I'll see your fugitive former flame and raise you a lesbian daughter.

Julie: Look, Marissa, I'll admit it. I experimented a bit when I was your age. Albeit it involved a little Motley Crue and a lot of Jager.

The MallpisodeEdit

Julie: Why this guy? He launched a magazine called The Ugly Americans.

Carter: Look, I just don't think the world needs more proclamations about how Mukluks are the new Uggs.
Kirsten: Our bar's not that low.
Julie: He's right about Mukluks. Write that down.

Lance: Actually, I have something for you.
Julie: Yeah? Last time you gave me something I drank cranberry juice for a week.

Julie: Alex, and I'm not saying this to be mean. Because you actually seem like a nice enough girl, and... I like your pants. But you're this week's yard guy.

Julie: She's only really been in love once, and he looked a little different in a wife beater.

The Blaze of GloryEdit

Julie: Okay, like you're not creepy enough you're appearing in doorways now?

Sandy: Julie, you scared me. More than usual.
Julie: Always a pleasure, Sanford.
Sandy: Only Caleb gets to call me Sanford because he won't not.

Julie: I am so screwed.
Sandy: I know. I saw the footage.

The Brothers GrimEdit

Julie: I made a mistake, Kiki. A naked mistake.
Kirsten: Excuse me?
Julie: A hundred years ago, a boyfriend convinced me to let him film me. In the act. I was young, living on rum, and I needed the money.

Caleb: Is there anything else?
Julie: Well I made an adult film in the 80s with an ex-boyfriend whos is now threatening to to release it on the internet unless I pay him half a million dollars. And I would really like to redo the kitchen.

Julie: Kirsten crushes Carter!

Julie: You can go on with your life, Cal. But I am never leaving this room. My Howard Hughes phase starts now.

The RagerEdit

Lance: Jules. How the hell did you find me?
Julie: Well it was easy, Lance. I just looked for the cheapest, scummiest motel near a liquor store and voila.

Lance: No bullets.
Julie: No. Unfortunately. But just for a second I wanted you to feel like your life was being taken away.

Julie: I don't want to come home and find I'm living in Delta House.

The O.C. ConfidentialEdit

Julie: All I'm asking is that we not mention any lesbian dalliances or bodies in the pool.

: Caleb: What's all this?
Julie: What does it look like?
Caleb: It looks like one of your movies.
Julie: That's not funny.
Caleb: It's not supposed to be.

: Lance: No pre-nup?
Julie: I think a porn scandal more than nullifies that.

: Lance: What are you doing?
Julie: I'm writing you a cheque.
Lance: You don't gotta pay me to kill your husband..
Julie: It's not for that. It's to get you out of town. I'm not a murderer. Neither are you.

: Caleb: Are these real tears?
Julie: No one's more surprised than me.

The ShowdownEdit

Kirsten: My dad doesn't exactly talk to me about his romantic life.
Julie: I figured
(Takes a drink)
Julie: Oh my gosh. How much vodka did you put in this?
Kirsten: Normal amount. Little less.
Julie: Uh, okay...where's Sandy?
Kirsten: Out.
Julie: Okay, did something happen, did you two have a fight?
Kirsten: No. Yes. Oh god I don't know, it seems like we've been fighting since September.
Julie: Look Kirsten I know that I'm probably the last person in the world you want to bear your soul to but it's got to be better than getting smashed in the middle of the day what happened?
Kirsten: What happened? The boys left for the summer, Sandy and I stopped communicating, Rebecca Bloom came along and made things worse...and then Carter.
Julie: He was cute.
Kirsten: Something happened between me and Sandy, this wall came between us and Cater just made me feel less Sandy used to and now he's gone.

: Caleb: You have been monitored to one degree or another since before we were married. The affair you had with your former-husband. The tryst with that high-schooler... Luke.
Julie: Oh my god.
Caleb: I mean, your daughter's boyfriend. What will people think?
Julie: Ex-boyfriend.

The O.SeaEdit

Julie: Sandy, I did not come here to talk about myself. But as long as we're on the subject, I could kind of use your advice.
Sandy: Hey, if this involves you being naked, please: you gotta warn me.

Julie: So send me the papers. I'll make the margs. We'll make a party out of it.
Caleb: Oh why not. Fitting end to a bizarre marriage like ours.

Caleb: I see you pulled out all the stops. One last ditch effort to stop this divorce from going forward.
Julie: God! Paranoid, much?

The Dearly BelovedEdit

Julie: All my black dresses look like they should be accessorized with a broomstick. Do you have anything I could borrow?
Marissa: It's a funeral mom, not a fashion show. Sorry. Look, let me see what I've got.
Julie: Wait. I can do it.
Marissa: No. You've been through more than enough. I didn't mean to be a bitch.
Julie: Apples and trees. You are my daughter.

: Julie: If it would help, I could take over Kirsten Watch for awhile.
Sandy: I don't know if anything's gonna help.
Julie: So then let her glower at me. I'm used to it.

: Jimmy: What if I decided to stay? What if we gave it another shot? We're both older and wiser now.
Julie: We'll, I'm certainly wiser.

Season 3Edit

The AftermathEdit

Julie: C'mon. It's okay for a prosecutor and defense attorney to have lemonade together. We're all human beings here.
Jimmy: I'm not so sure with these guys.

Julie: Let's play hot/cold, hm? Two million. Seven million. I have at least three million coming from my pre-nup. You blinked! Does one blink mean yes?

The End of InnocenceEdit

Lawyer: Caleb Nichol was a very generous man who loved his family very much.
Julie: Sandy gave a very nice eulogy at the funeral so let's just skip the niceties, okay?

Julie: You know, Jimmy, when I think about it, I think I talked myself in to loving Caleb. Not for the money, but for the security money brings.

The Perfect StormEdit

Kirsten: Oh Julie. It's a really good investment. And if you need help with the down payment—
Julie: I'm not destitute, Kirsten. I'm discerning.

Charlotte: Can I come in?
Julie: You really don't want to. And no.

The SwellsEdit

Julie: There is not a lie in the world I haven't heard or told so just give it to me straight. It'll save us a lot of time.
Charlotte: I was never going to hurt you, Julie.
Julie: Right. You were just going to scam me into throwing a big charity and leave me to pick up the pieces so you could skip town.
Charlotte: What if you help me?
Julie: Are you drinking again?

The Anger ManagementEdit

Kirsten: We should take out half these tables so we can have more flow.
Julie: We should also talk to them about the music. The last event I did here they had us on a Kenny G loop.

Charlotte: Oh, what? You think you're back in society now so you don't need the money? Wake up, Julie. These people are never going to accept you. You don't have any friends here!
Julie: Wrong. I have Kirsten. And I won't do this to her. Now, I think it's time you left, don't you? This town's only really big enough for one manipulative bitch. Take care, sweetie.

The Game PlanEdit

Julie: Kirsten, I don't need your charity.
Kirsten: Then why are you living in a trailer? I'm sorry. I followed you yesterday.
Julie: Well, then I certainly hope you're opening up a detective agency.

Gus: Hey, Julie!
Julie: I've got a gun, Gus.
Gus: That's cool.

The DisconnectEdit

Kirsten: Who wants to see their maids nude?
Julie: Not maids, Kirsten. They're strippers.
Kirsten: Who wants a stripper doing their laundry?

Julie: Sandy, I don't think I'm in favor of low income housing.
Kirsten: Julie, you live in a trailer park.
Julie: And I'm highly motivated to change my circumstances. If you make being poor too comfortable, what's the incentive to get rich? Believe me, if anyone should know.

Julie: You know what I'm really craving? Sweet corn ravioli. Or do you think that will be too heavy with the crab cakes?
Kirsten: What I think is that you don't find this business very interesting.
Julie: I'm sorry, Kiki. I've just been eating a lot of Ramen lately.

Kirsten: How was your date?
Julie: Oh, it was awful. We totally didn't click, we had nothing to talk about, his tongue was like sandpaper.
Kirsten: I'm sorry to hear that.

Kirsten: Julie, I have an idea for a new business.
Julie: Oh my god! A high class call girl operation. I love it!
Kirsten: No. A high end dating service.
Julie: Oh! That could work too.

The Chrismukkah Bar Mitz-vahkkahEdit

Julie: I told you, Gus. I am not going to your Christmas party. Even if you are deep frying a ham.

Kirsten: I came to see how you were.
Julie: I'm great. Some of the neighbors are having a cock fight in an hour using stray dogs. It's a holiday tradition. My money's on the feisty Weimaraner.
Kirsten: Good. 'Cause I'm awful.
Julie: I'm spitting Skoal into a can, drinking wine from a bottle I unscrewed, and living in a home that—if I wanted to—I could put in reverse. I'm beyond awful.

Julie: It's not like I could have the other Newpsies over for pop tarts and cock fights.

The Safe HarborEdit

Julie: Hey Julie. Happy New Year.
Neil: "Should auld acquaintance be forgot."
Julie: Well I don't think you're in much danger of being old or forgot any time soon.

Julie: I don't want any pigeon pie, Gus! I think it's terrible what you do to those little birds.

Julie: You know, all things considered, I think I raised a pretty good kid.
Neil: I think we both did. You wanna—?
Julie: Drink?

The Sister ActEdit

Kaitlin: Oh my god. We live in a trailer.
Julie: Well, yes. But not... live live. Um. We're more like refugees. We're only half a mile from the beach and, well... it's Tiffany blue!

Julie: I'll be okay, Kiki. I'm like the Gulf Region. At this point, what's one more hurricane?

Julie: Tonight we launch Newport's first exclusive dating service: New Match. Because whether you're gay, straight, single, divorced, nearly-divorced. In a world of wealth and luxury, the only thing really worth pursuing is a soul mate.
Kirsten: So drink up, enjoy, and flirt.

The Pot StirrerEdit

Julie: We're doing dinner a la Cohen.

Julie: You know, after years of doing cardiobar and yogalates I forgot how good this feels. I got three honks.

Julie: It is a beautiful house. Although I was thinking you could change out the marble in the entrance hall. And some of the furniture—
Kirsten: Julie. Since you haven't kissed yet you might want to hold off on the redecorating.

The CliffhangerEdit

Julie: I know you've been married for, like, 200 years, but you must remember something about dating.

Julie: I'm impressed. You're sneakier than I thought, Kirsten Cohen.
Kirsten: Well, being around you all these years, it's rubbed off.

Neil: She's pretty.
Julie: Pear-shaped. But pretty.
Neil: Oo. Look at her. Nice... smile.
Julie: Yeah. Adult braces.

Julie: It's my own fault. I let you do the scheming. Clearly not your wheelhouse. From now on if someone needs to be manipulated we put me in charge.

Julie: I tried taking your advice, KiKi. And quite frankly, it sucked. From now on we do things the Julie Cooper way.
Kirsten: Julie Cooper, be careful.

Julie: Go away Gus. I told you, I don't want to play strip pinochle.
Neil: You play strip pinochle?
Julie: Long story. What are you doing here?
Neil: I stopped by to thank you for fixing me up with Laura. She's a wonderful woman.
Julie: Well good. I'm glad it worked out with the two of you. If you'll excuse me I have a Hot Pocket in the microwave and a wine cooler with my name on it. So, good luck.

Julie: What? What do you want?
Neil: You.
Julie: Excuse me?
Neil: You can be manipulative, you can be aggressive. I've known you to stretch the truth on occasion. But the fact is, when I'm not around you, I miss you.
Julie: You do?
Neil: What can I say? I've fallen for you.
Julie: Well this just may be your lucky night. I have an extra Hot Pocket.

The Heavy LiftingEdit

Kirsten: Julie, last time you went on a stealth mission, you toppled the dessert tray.
Julie: Yeah, but it did get his attention.

Julie: I sharpened my bamboo sticks. Turns out no force was necessary.

Julie: Oh no. I don't do oysters. If I'm going to swallow something that disgusting there better be something in it for me.

The Road WarriorEdit

Kirsten: Maybe you two should stop sneaking around and go public.
Julie: I don't disagree. And neither does my chiropractor.

The JourneyEdit

Julie: You know, the short stack really is the perfect amount.

Marissa: Summer's like my best friend. So don't... do anything.
Julie: Okay. Whatever that means.

The Secrets and LiesEdit

Summer: You may be Mrs. Cooper-Nichol-Cooper-Roberts, but if you make my dad happy—
Neil: Which she does.
Julie: I do.
Summer: Then I'm happy.

The Day After TomorrowEdit

Neil: Hey. You okay?
Julie: Please, I just— I can't do this right now.
Neil: Do what?
Julie: Sit here and be tested as wife/mother material while I'm worried about my daughter's future. I get it, okay? It's not what you expected. I failed. Fine. But right now I need to think about Marissa.
Neil: Julie, I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were being tested. I— I was wrong. And you've hardly failed. I think Marissa is very lucky to have you as her mom.
Summer: Hey, guys. We're going to the party.
Marissa: Bye Mom, bye Dr. Roberts.
Neil: See what I mean.

The Dawn PatrolEdit

Julie: Keep that grimey paw away from me. Unless you wanna see what ten years of cardiobar can do to your face.

Julie: Listen up, Tommy Lee. You're just the latest in a series of experiments my daughter likes to make when acting out. So enjoy it. Because right here, right now is as good as it gets for you. Soon Marissa's gonna wake up and realize she is so much better than you and your life.
Volchok: You think she's gonna come running back to you.
Julie: Marissa knows that I will be there for her whenever she decides to come home because I am her family. Not some punk with a smirk, three brain cells, and a good coke connection. You tell her that.

The College TryEdit

Julie: Marissa, honey, you know it's not too late to go with you. I promise I won't embarrass you. I can pretend to be part of your entourage. Or your Scientology guide.
Marissa: Mom, you don't have to worry, okay?
Julie: Kids go crazy at college. You've seen Girls Gone Wild.

Julie: Okay, did a priest just break in here and perform an exorcism?
Neil: I don't know, but she's definitely out of the woods.

Neil: Honey, I don't get it. You throw all of these parties with the dating service.
Julie: Well, I have Kirsten then. She's my wing woman.
Neil: So invite Kirsten. And Sandy. He can network with the doctors and she can... wing woman.

Julie: Ever since Caleb died, the only way I've been able to navigate through these Newpsie-infested waters is with you by my side.

The Man of The YearEdit

Julie: Speaking as someone who's had to manage more than her share of scandal, you need to contain this ASAP.
Kirsten: Julie, I appreciate the heads up. Sandy's gonna take this really hard.
Julie: Sandy knows. Neil told him at dinner last night.

Neil: It feels like a conflict of interest. I may have to testify against the man. I'm sure they'll understand.
Julie: Well I don't. The Cohens are like family, Neil.
Neil: Well they're about to become the black sheep.
Julie: Well I don't know about you, but I support the people I care about. I don't judge them. I'll call a cab.

Julie: You changed your mind.
Neil: No, you changed my mind. You're a very passionate woman. And surprisingly principled.
Julie: I'd like to think so.
Neil: If you feel so strongly about family, how could I not want to be a part of yours?

The GraduatesEdit

Julie: I just want you to know, everything I ever did—good, bad or otherwise—I did it for you. So that you could have a better life than I had. And I know I wasn't perfect. I mean, the thing with Luke, and, trying to frame Ryan for attempted homicide, I—
Marissa: Mom, I love you. Just know that.
Julie: Oh, sweetheart. That's all I wanted. I love you too.
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